Thursday, June 18, 2009

My Dash...

In December 2004 Dr. Ronald Masden, world renowned surgeon and close friend of my ex-husband passed away. At his funeral his dear friend read a very special poem, a poem that he lived by and a poem that would change the course of my life forever: “The Dash” by Linda Ellis (see below).

After hearing this poem, I decided to live life more abundantly, love without caution and savior each moment for as long as the Lord would allow me to be here.

Since I was a teenager, I thought it would be an awesome idea to be a surrogate mother. What a marvelous gift to bring forth life, and able to bless a couple with a baby they so desperately want. For years I’ve seen people suffer with infertility, miscarriages and the heartache that comes along with it. I always said that if given the opportunity, I would gladly jump at the chance to be a surrogate. Well, be careful what you ask for, you just might get it!

I’m a divorced (4 years) mother of three (12, 10 and 8) fabulous children. At the beginning of last year I researched the web and found out as much information as possible about being a surrogate. I then contacted a local doctor’s office and they sent me tons of information about their program. I discovered that I didn’t want to be a surrogate, but a gestational carrier (the baby is genetically the couples and I carry the baby). Most of the programs age range ended at 39 years old, and I was quickly approaching my 39th birthday. Although the information was clear and concise, the process seemed to be too clinical for me. Understanding that the emotions surrounding the desire to be a parent are pretty much the same all over the world, I felt the perfect situation for me would be to touch someone’s life that I knew personally.

My prayer was that if after I purchased my home (which was the most stressful thing in the world) and if there was a way that this could happen, I would gladly take on the task. Well, God sure does answer prayers, because after I purchased my “happily ever after home in July 2008, got settled in with the kids right before school started, and before I knew it, the opportunity presented itself.


I’m sure the “Egg Factory” will go in to detail later about how this all came to be, but for now I’ll just quote one of my favorite scriptures: And we know that all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28. I feel so blessed to be able to help the “Egg Factory” and “J.B.” with their family. Out of all the people in the world, they chose me to be a vessel to help bring their child into the world. I’m so grateful for this experience, and for the love that shines through them as we walk down this path together. My life has been enhanced by the people met, and places seen through this experience. What a wonderful addition to my dash... “What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.”
The Dash
by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
(You could be at “dash mid-range).

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

2 comments:

  1. You are such a special person - couldn't have a better Nest to carry our eggs! Now, grow embies, grow!

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  2. I have not yet had the privilege to meet you, Nest, but I feel as if I know you through the Factory and my mother (Nurse Mom). I just want to thank you for the amazingly generous gift you have given to my best friend of 30 years and her husband. Keeping all of you in my prayers!

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