Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Armed and Dangerous

After more than a week on progesterone, it finally caught up with me! I’ve been waiting patiently for four days to have a “movement” to no avail. My belly is protruding like I’m at least 4 months pregnant and my clothes were oh’ so snug and I wasn’t in the best of moods. It was a bad situation.

Was it possible for me to push those little eggs out of their nest? I didn’t know, but I sure didn’t want to find out the hard way. I’m so committed to this process that I couldn’t take the chance. I feel like Horton the Elephant… “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant…” I’m trying to keep these little eggs tight in their nest until they hatch!

After several unsuccessful attempts to make a “movement” I sprung from my desk, grabbed my purse and made a mad dash to the nearest Walgreens searching for some serious relief. When I reached the store, I ran through it like I was on a game show (shopping for dollars). I was on a mission!

I headed straight to the back of the store where I found the stool softeners, then to the juice section where I got the biggest jug of prune juice I could find; across from the juice was a nice big container of pitted prunes. It appeared as if I was working on a science project, but I couldn’t waist any time worrying about what kind of impression I was making on the 12 year old sales clerk (well, maybe not 12, but she looked like it.)

I then returned back to work, took two softeners, ate a half container of prunes and drank a small glass of juice. I wanted to wear a sign home, or make a courtesy call before I got there stating “beware, armed with prunes and softeners, and may be hazardous to your health.” I did spend the remainder of the night apologizing for not offering fair warning before stuff hit the fan.

I was on a serious mission, but thanks to the Factory and her great advice, I was able to resolve this small issue yesterday without anyone getting hurt. She’s so awesome!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

My Dash...

In December 2004 Dr. Ronald Masden, world renowned surgeon and close friend of my ex-husband passed away. At his funeral his dear friend read a very special poem, a poem that he lived by and a poem that would change the course of my life forever: “The Dash” by Linda Ellis (see below).

After hearing this poem, I decided to live life more abundantly, love without caution and savior each moment for as long as the Lord would allow me to be here.

Since I was a teenager, I thought it would be an awesome idea to be a surrogate mother. What a marvelous gift to bring forth life, and able to bless a couple with a baby they so desperately want. For years I’ve seen people suffer with infertility, miscarriages and the heartache that comes along with it. I always said that if given the opportunity, I would gladly jump at the chance to be a surrogate. Well, be careful what you ask for, you just might get it!

I’m a divorced (4 years) mother of three (12, 10 and 8) fabulous children. At the beginning of last year I researched the web and found out as much information as possible about being a surrogate. I then contacted a local doctor’s office and they sent me tons of information about their program. I discovered that I didn’t want to be a surrogate, but a gestational carrier (the baby is genetically the couples and I carry the baby). Most of the programs age range ended at 39 years old, and I was quickly approaching my 39th birthday. Although the information was clear and concise, the process seemed to be too clinical for me. Understanding that the emotions surrounding the desire to be a parent are pretty much the same all over the world, I felt the perfect situation for me would be to touch someone’s life that I knew personally.

My prayer was that if after I purchased my home (which was the most stressful thing in the world) and if there was a way that this could happen, I would gladly take on the task. Well, God sure does answer prayers, because after I purchased my “happily ever after home in July 2008, got settled in with the kids right before school started, and before I knew it, the opportunity presented itself.

I’m sure the “Egg Factory” will go in to detail later about how this all came to be, but for now I’ll just quote one of my favorite scriptures: And we know that all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28. I feel so blessed to be able to help the “Egg Factory” and “J.B.” with their family. Out of all the people in the world, they chose me to be a vessel to help bring their child into the world. I’m so grateful for this experience, and for the love that shines through them as we walk down this path together. My life has been enhanced by the people met, and places seen through this experience. What a wonderful addition to my dash... “What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.”
The Dash
by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
(You could be at “dash mid-range).

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?